his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
