Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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