Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
