I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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