the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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