The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
