Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
