its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Pooping to opera.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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