I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
