But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
