So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
