I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
