Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you made out with another girl for some wings
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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