So drunk its hurt
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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