I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When are your genitals available?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
