Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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