Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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