Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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