So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
