Already got asked if we're dating
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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