i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
