you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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