I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
