ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
