I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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