i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
