Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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