So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
