She said her name was "party"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
