you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
