There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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