Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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