I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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