ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
