when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
