just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
