we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
