I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
