I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Are we still banned from the library?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
