Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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