Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
