You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
