the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm at about main and main street
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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