similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
