I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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