It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
