just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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