i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
