We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
