i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
