What a fucking waste of an outfit
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
