now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
